Chris Wejr has a thought-provoking post
entitled “Share Who You Are, Let People In”. I remember as a new
teacher trying hard to look and sound older than I was, that I hardly
ever shared my personal life with my students. I was afraid they
would think of me as their friend, rather than their teacher, which I
was warned about in my education classes. However, when I taught
overseas, it became evident that I needed to reveal myself – my
experiences, perspectives and biases – to my students to be able to
build common understandings. My students' experiences were
significantly different from my own and I knew I couldn't assume
commonalities. I now realize how naïve my early teaching self was,
thinking that even my American students' experiences were similar to
my own.
Students are perceptive and know when
you are having an off day. In my experience, when mutual trust and
respect is built between the teacher and students, the students will
be sympathetic on those few days that you are not on top of your
game. I remember when I received word that my grandmother had
passed away, I didn't have the words to express it to my students
without breaking down, but they sensed my emotions and helped me see
that it is okay to be vulnerable in the classroom. It allowed them
to be more vulnerable too. I remember that day as one of reverence
and deep conversation, in a classroom that was typically filled with
activity and noise. I appreciated the intuitiveness of those
students.
At the same time, students need to see
your real self – the one that also has to do “homework” and
chores, just like them. As I've been working on my dissertation,
I've shared my struggles with writing and thinking with my students,
to help them see that their own homework struggles are not unusual.
They were looking forward to the day they could call me “Doctor Who”(they thought that was a better title than my real one). I've also realized
that students like stories – stories of my fear of the bat in my
apartment, my love of buffaloes, and my scuba diving. When I first
started teaching and a student bumped into me at the grocery store,
they were shocked, not realizing that I lived a normal life like
them. Now, I bump into students at the Roller Derby, Manna Cafe or
the grocery store and we can strike up a conversation about their out
of school activities without a blink.
But it isn't all one-sided. By sharing
my stories with them, they also tell me about their successes and
achievements outside of school. This mutual sharing continues to
build trust and respect. And, when they are having a bad or off day,
they are more willing to share why and I give them the space and time
needed to deal with it.
Just as we should remember the Golden
Rule of “Do unto others as you would have done unto you, we should
also remember Callahan's Law "Shared pain is lessened; shared
joy, increased — thus do we refute entropy." (Spider Robinson,
Callahan and Company)
